last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I should be sponsored by Trojan
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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