If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
