He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
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After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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