i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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