They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
