adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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