She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
love makes seman taste better
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
