Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
