fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We have started to decorate penises.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
