Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
