Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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