Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
