My first STD was from a foam party
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
