So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
