Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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