I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
