I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
