Your tits are I can't wait for
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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