he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
