Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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