Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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