woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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