Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
