People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
