i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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