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Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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