dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
