Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

Happy Easter!!!

(248): View more from Michigan

I'm an idiot

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(815): View more from Illinois

Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.

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(740): View more from Ohio

i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'

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(214): View more from Texas

More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings

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(318): View more from Louisiana

We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done

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(563): View more from Iowa

My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.

(1-563): View more from Iowa

I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.

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