Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?

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  (616): dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us? http://tfl.nu/bgpp
  Replies (8) Good night (1466) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them

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  (760): i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them http://tfl.nu/jlgr
  Replies (7) Good night (647) Bad night (1770)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals

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  (517): new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals http://tfl.nu/6pha
  Replies (61) Good night (5555) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes

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  (443): And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes http://tfl.nu/p6zo
  Replies (28) Good night (1303) Bad night (5117)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation

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  (828): so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation http://tfl.nu/xwig
  Replies (33) Good night (15018) Bad night (843)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.

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  (661): Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/ev42
  Replies (22) Good night (5227) Bad night (1825)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line

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  (203): Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line http://tfl.nu/4rr4
  Replies (11) Good night (1629) Bad night (5171)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.

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  (443): we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out. http://tfl.nu/gq5i
  Replies (9) Good night (2518) Bad night (819)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.

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  (307): The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity. http://tfl.nu/x8mh
  Replies (2) Good night (1265) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Another day, another engagement, another cat

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  (412): Another day, another engagement, another cat http://tfl.nu/m5x7
  Replies (1) Good night (1064) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.

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  (520): I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013. http://tfl.nu/sp2x
  Replies (2) Good night (812) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.

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  (310): What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business. http://tfl.nu/a4r2
  Replies (5) Good night (2266) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated

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  (413): My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated http://tfl.nu/t4rd
  Replies (2) Good night (733) Bad night (300)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Props for using the word nadir

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  (615): Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness. (803): Props for using the word nadir http://tfl.nu/i00l
  Replies (0) Good night (481) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange

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  (417): Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange http://tfl.nu/684a
  Replies (5) Good night (525) Bad night (265)

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