Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.