Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.

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  (513): Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere. http://tfl.nu/ay2u
  Replies (11) Good night (5191) Bad night (515)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  We took shots in honor of Shark Week.

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  (303): We took shots in honor of Shark Week. http://tfl.nu/tloc
  Replies (19) Good night (7659) Bad night (615)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl

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  (402): she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl http://tfl.nu/7i4h
  Replies (12) Good night (687) Bad night (3173)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground

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  (617): were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground http://tfl.nu/2c7r
  Replies (40) Good night (10873) Bad night (1214)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.

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  (479): I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous. http://tfl.nu/e117
  Replies (14) Good night (4616) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.

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  (360): And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/r3iu
  Replies (6) Good night (2736) Bad night (878)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.

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  (978): I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it. http://tfl.nu/93wr
  Replies (6) Good night (2423) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm there.

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  (785): I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show. (816): I'm there. http://tfl.nu/3vob
  Replies (6) Good night (940) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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  (206): And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single. http://tfl.nu/gzjy
  Replies (3) Good night (833) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.

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  (620): I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify. http://tfl.nu/e3b2
  Replies (4) Good night (1226) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.

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  (858): you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you. http://tfl.nu/hkpv
  Replies (2) Good night (1231) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I need more social interactions that don't involve sex

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  (781): I need more social interactions that don't involve sex http://tfl.nu/p006
  Replies (3) Good night (431) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.

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  (773): I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/k0oq
  Replies (2) Good night (785) Bad night (404)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.

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  (484): I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid. http://tfl.nu/c1yp
  Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank

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  (716): Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank http://tfl.nu/v8v3
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (231)

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