I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine