I'm lost and stupid without you.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.