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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail

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• (716): View more from New York

  You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in

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• (806): View more from Texas

  Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that

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• (806): View more from Texas

  He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  I feel like you never had a virginity..

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs

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• (360): View more from Washington

  What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (61): View more from Australia

  Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.

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• (661): View more from California

  He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.

  (1914): View more from

  You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written

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