Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
