that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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