xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
