we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
