I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize