i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
