I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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