He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
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