dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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