ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
