ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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