please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
