well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
