omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just cut my nipple shaving
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
He kissed a someone with a penis
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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