Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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