She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize