Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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