I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
