i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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