I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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