i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
