Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
