Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
