there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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