i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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