I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
