saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
