also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
