I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
soo... how was my night?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize