Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My dick has a subreddit
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
