i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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