I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
