i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
